Photo by Zache Feller
I had hand surgery on my left hand which is my dominant hand on December 24 and will have a second hand surgery on January 14. It is painful and took away so many things that I have taken for granted. I now can type clumsily with a lot of effort. I know that the next surgery will take that ability away again for, I hope, a short time. I always use the four R(s) in moments like this: Reading, Reflection, Ritin’, and Religion, defined as our connection to self, others, and God.
Since one of my guiding principles is that life is to be enjoyed or learned from, what have I learned that may help you?
Remember what we learned in biology class that our development as humans was advanced because we evolved to the point of having the opposing thumb/finger connection. Without that ability to utilize that function, life is difficult. Tape your thumb to the next finger and see and experience what you can’t do.
The most basic tasks become a chore. Religion…I thought of faith that can be a powerful tool in these moments. I have not found myself bargaining with God during all of this, but I have come close. Reading…I am making my way through the second book by Isabel Wilkerson, the author of Caste. Her second book, The Warmth of Other Suns, is the story of the great migration of black people from slavery in the South to places in the Northeast, West, and Central areas, like Chicago, in our nation. I came to an awful realization when reading about the Jim Crow Period in the south and all that the people went through in their history as slaves and during the reconstruction period. Her book is much better researched than anything before it. I realized that the number of lynchings was far more than I thought. Black people could be lynched for the smallest perceived infraction of the white code of behavior. Lynchings were public events where children were in attendance to watch the lynchings followed by the barbaric practice of burning the bodies as they hung in the air with the children present encouraged to applaud.
I co taught a course on Diversity Issues with a colleague, Courtney Portlock, who was an expert on the use of the N word and why it is such a terrible word to use. There were times when the N word would be the last word that a black person would hear before they were hung. Women, and children were lynched as well, not just men.
Growing up in a working class community, I was completely unaware of the injustices that black people were still experiencing in abundance through the 60(s) and 70(s). Racism was still an integral part of American life then and remains so today even after the Civil Rights Act. I was not aware of the extent of the injustices because I had teammates and classmates who were black and I worked in places with black people that were totally integrated, quite frankly, because the work was so tough. I was always at the bottom of the pecking order in various mills. I was very much aware that Dr. King had been assassinated because I was taking a graduate course at Temple University the evening after he died where riots were occurring literally as I was trying to make my way to my car in North Philadelphia and had to ask people what happened. Fires were being set. Anger was the fuel.
My wife and I have purchased a copy of President Obama’s memoir. There is one negative thing about his election. A conclusion was reached by some that his election was the end of racism in America. It is not. Trump did not cause the bitter sores of racism. He gave people permission to reveal racism in an overt fashion. The Black Lives Matter Movement has work to do that can not be accomplished in a short period of time. It means we will have to work even harder to make our nation a place where all are equal. One of the central premises of the two books authored by Isabel Wilkerson, is that racism is present because everyone needs someone to look down upon.
Relationships and Reflection…There have been many people who have inspired me during this temporary time being handicapped, pun intended. I could not make it through all of this without the private duty nurse who is my spouse. I also reflect on the life of one of my heroes, John W. Frommer, Esq. John lost both of his arms in an accident when he was a teenager. He attended Swarthmore College and graduated Phi Beta Kappa. He went on to receive his law degree from Yale. He never let his life be limited by his loss of limbs. He and his wife, Dorie, were the first people Vicki and I met when we arrived in Swarthmore to join the staff of one of the most progressive parishes in the Diocese. We had dinner together. I marveled at how John did things. He could fold the newspaper in such a way to read it as he took the train to his center city law firm. He was a champion of civil rights. He was undaunted.
His wife and he lived an exemplary life. We have a picture of them seated on the beach together at the Jersey Shore happy and at peace. John was diagnosed with cancer in his forties. He underwent a rigorous chemotherapy treatment. Like his loss of his arms, he treated the cancer as a new part of his life and made his way forward. He died a few years after his diagnosis in his late forties. His death broke many hearts. His death raised that cry to God in the book of Job. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The word, handicapped, is derived from a game of chance called “Hand in Cap” where the participants have an equal chance of winning or losing. Later the word was applied to putting stones around a fast horse’s neck in a race to slow the horse down. The term is still used today in horse racing and betting.
The word, hand, is found in one of the great truths of life. You have to play the hand that you are dealt. I am reminded of that now every day.
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